The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied

cheap adidas The Harry Potter series has sold billions of dollars worth of books, movie tickets and DVDs because it’s one of those rare series that children can enjoy but won’t make adults want to gouge out their eyes. Rowling had a way of throwing a bone to the grown ups here and there by slipping in sly little adult references along cheap jordan shoes for men the way. It’s usually done in subtext (like the elderly wizard Dumbledore’s homosexual relationship with the male wizard Grindelwald), but sometimes it’s right there in the open for anyone perceptive enough to get cheap jordans good quality it. cheap adidas

The short lived headmistress of Hogwarts gets off on torturing children, has an unflinching holier than thou attitude cheap jordans 50 dollars and, unless David Yates has something stashed for an extended edition of the films, SPOILER she gets away with it. END SPOILER

cheap air jordan Well, unless you count the part where she is abducted and gang raped by centaurs in Harry Potter cheap jordans basketball shoes and the Order of the Phoenix. And if you think we’re just filling in the rape stuff with our filthy imaginations, hang on. cheap air jordan

cheap jordans online cheap authentic jordans for sale What you have to realize is that there’s a reason Rowling made sure it was centaurs who snatched Umbridge, rather than any of the countless other dangerous creatures in the forest (like the giant spiders). If you’re familiar with the mythology of centaurs, seeing a screaming woman get hauled away by a bunch of them gives you the same feeling you get in Deliverance when Ned Beatty falls into the buy cheap jordans online hands of the hillbillies, or when Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames wind up imprisoned by the same cheap authentic air jordans in Pulp Fiction. Centaurs rape human women that’s what they do cheap jordans in china , that’s a central part of their mythology. cheap jordans online

cheap air force In one legend, centaurs were invited to a wedding feast and attempted to rape the bride. In another, the famous centaur Nessus was killed while trying to rape a woman. That’s the point of centaurs as characters they have the heads of men and the animal urges of horses. cheap air force

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cheap jordan sneakers People on the Internet familiar with the mythology where to find cheap jordans online were quick to notice this, as were feminist blogs. After all, showing Umbridge getting dragged away by centaurs would be like having Draco Malfoy getting his comeuppance by having him get hauled into cheap jordan retro 10 the back cheap authentic retro jordans of a windowless van by a creepy guy with a wispy mustache. cheap jordan sneakers

cheap jordans from china Now , if that had been the last time we saw Umbridge in the series, then you could say, OK, maybe these centaurs are different, maybe they just trampled her to death or stabbed her or tied her to a tree and strapped a bag full of oats to her face. But Umbridge comes back, and comes back suffering from some kind of major trauma that didn’t involve any damage cheap retro jordans wholesale to the visible get jordans cheap parts of her body. Here’s Rowling’s depiction of her in the aftermath: cheap jordans from china

cheap jordans in china Professor Umbridge was lying in a bed opposite them, gazing up at cheap jordans 35 dollars the ceiling. Since she had returned to the castle she cheap jordan 13 had not, as far as any of them knew, uttered a single word. Nobody really knew what was wrong with her, either. Her website that sells jordans for cheap usually neat mousy hair was very untidy and there were still bits of twigs and leaves in it, but otherwise she seemed to be quite unscathed. cheap jordans in china

cheap jordans shoes ‘Madam Pomfrey says she’s just in shock,’ whispered Hermione. cheap jordans shoes

‘Sulking, more like,’ said Ginny.

cheap jordans free shipping ‘Yeah, she shows signs of life if you do this,’ said Ron, and with his tongue he made soft clip clopping noises. Umbridge sat bolt upright, looking around wildly. cheap jordans free shipping

cheap Air max shoes ‘Anything wrong, Professor?’ called Madam Pomfrey, poking her head around her office door. cheap Air max shoes

Cheap jordans retro jordans for cheap price ‘No. no.’ said Umbridge, sinking back into her pillows. ‘No, I must have been dreaming.’ Cheap jordans

cheap jordans for sale Hermione and Ginny muffled their laughter in the bedclothes. cheap jordans for sale

To Make It Even Weirder.

cheap jordans sale Two characters watch Umbridge getting dragged away Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. At least one of those two knows that centaurs are rape machines. (Hint: It’s Hermione, the character whose main purpose in the plot is to know absolutely everything.) cheap jordans sale

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cheap yeezys Neither of them make an effort to save Umbridge. Potter gets in a witty, James Bond esque quip as she’s being dragged away, and Hermione real authentic jordans for cheap seems satisfied that mass horse rape is a fitting punishment. We like to think that on the way back to school, Harry asked “So what do you suppose those centaurs are going to do to jordans cheap price the professor?” and that Hermione casually described to him how Umbridge would almost certainly be brutally violated by equinely endowed inter species rapists. And that was the day Harry learned that you do not mess with Hermione Granger cheap yeezys.